I AM.

If you know who you are, what causess you the deepest, most heart-wrenching pain can end up being the very thing that lifts and builds you up.

There’s a saying in my land that’s actually taken from an epic poem of the Ibibio/Calabar people ‘Ndisuho idiok mkpo idihe idiok, eti mkpo ediworo do.’ Literally, it translates ‘Some bad(s) are actually not bad, for out of them can spring forth the best of the bests.’

Today, less than forty years after my uncle’s wife’s declaration that I was worth nothing and would never amount to anything, that I should consider myself lucky if some ‘wretched, dirty old man in the village’ took me for a wife. Years after living and believing those lies — so much so that it caused me to ‘blank’ out myself and live under the constant fear that I was, indeed, unworthy and would never be enough no matter how much I tried — I have arrived at the truth. I AM worthy. I AM more - than she knew or could ever fathom. And, I AM enough.

Today I AM no longer afraid; I AM no longer fearful; I no longer feel worthless. I AM. ENOUGH. And I know it.

Of a truth, life certainly can be funny. Now and again, I have to admit to being stomped by some of its ironies. Today, I can hold a conversation on topics my uncle’s wife couldn’t even begin to wrap her head around or have the wherewithal to contribute to, navigate and engage in. Not bad for a little child she labelled worthless, useless and insignificant just because the girl couldn’t handle an electric iron properly, or items of clothing that were too cumbersome for a young child her age, I sometimes think.

That is the awesome power of knowing who you are.