In your journey to self-discovery: be humble, be truthful, be thankful
Sarah Udoh-Grossfurthner interviews the lovely Ery-Natali Touwani (Indonesian) — “a child of God; a wife; a privileged mother; a wedding/events decorator.” https://www.instagram.com/erytouwani/ https://www.instagram.com/nefi.decor/
Sarah: Ery, hi. Thank you for the privilege of this talk with you. By the way, your name — it is quite unusual. Is it an abbreviation of a longer name? Sorry, just curious.
Ery: No worries, Sarah. It is not an abbreviation. Because I was born the day before Christmas, my father took my name on the Italian word: ier, I, which means yesterday. So he shortened it to become Ery, then added Natali (Natale = Christmas in Italian) as my middle name. All, according to him, meant born a day before Christmas (Ery Natali = yesterday Natale/Christmas).
Sarah: Oh, my goodness! Now, I understand why I’ve always sensed that you are special. I will not ask you why your dad’s avid interest in things Italian because it will lead to other questions that are not relevant to our interview. But thank you very much for satisfying my curiosity. Now, to our interview, first of all, tell my readers and me, please; who is Ery? How would you present her to the world?
Ery: Thank you for the “special” compliment, Sarah, and for the privilege of this interview. Well, I would start by saying that I have been given the privilege to become the mother of two sons and a wife to a wonderful and loving man.
Sarah: A “wife to a wonderful man.” Wow, I love the sound of that. Tell us a bit about this “wonderful” man.
Ery: Well, I met him when I was 14 years old. His sister and my sister were classmates. Since we were so young, our parents thought it was just puppy love and would not last. But we lasted together for five years before we separated to pursue our studies. He went to Canada, and I went to Switzerland. When our studies were done, we got back together and married in 1991 — after several on again off again that lasted 13 years. Anyway, together, he and I own a wedding decoration business. He is a very talented designer, so he designs, and I execute the wedding ideas. Together we are a great team.
Sarah: Wow, what a love story! And, a husband and wife jointly owning and running a business? Most people would call that a recipe for problems and unnecessary bickering. Is it working positively in your case?
Ery: Yes, as a matter of fact, it is. Our business is doing well, and I love my life and enjoy it very much.
Sarah: So yours is a successful life then, right?
Ery: On the career side, you could say that I have a ‘successful’ life. But wealth is not my priority — it has never been. And so, when I think of who I am, I think in terms of relationships — who I am as a mother and as a wife. Who I am is bound in those two identities. I enjoy being that. I enjoy my life very much.
Sarah: Awesome! Tell us more about the other part of your ‘successful’ life, please — about motherhood.
Ery: Gladly, Sarah. How much time do you have?
Sarah: Hahaha! Why?
Ery: Well, being a mother is a part of my life story I never tire of talking about. You see, no one — not even myself — thought I would ever be able to carry a child. I had suffered endometriosis for the best part of my life, which had resulted in one of my ovaries being removed. The remaining one was pronounced extremely bad and “unhealthy,” with a high per cent chance of being removed as well if there ever came a time where a choice had to be made between my life and keeping it. Subsequently, all the doctors said I would never be able to conceive. I was resigned to my fate as a barren woman when I got married in July 1991, which was why I linked my feeling of unwellness to my endometriosis when I fell ill in March 1992 the following year. And so, you could have knocked my husband and me down with a feather when we were told that I was pregnant.
Sarah: Pregnant? Just a year after your marriage — and after doctors had declared you medically unfit ever to carry a child? Wow! That must have been a surprise.
Ery: Indeed it was, Sarah. Pregnant? Our mouths had hung open as we looked at the doctor in disbelief. Obviously, he had made a mistake. But he hadn’t because I gave birth to a healthy baby boy in December of that year. The icing on the top of this fantastic miracle was that I was the healthiest I had ever been throughout the pregnancy. I was serene and at peace, none of the pain that had beset me my entire life. Anyone familiar with endometriosis knows that such could only have been a miracle indeed. A couple of years after my first son, I again got pregnant and gave birth to another baby boy!
Sarah: Ery, I am staring at you. I am sure my eyes are bulging with wonder.
Ery: Hahaha! Imagine how my husband and I must have felt many years ago. Anyway, these two boys of mine are the greatest miracles of my life.
Sarah: Needless to say. I understand the source of your happiness now, Ery. When I first knew you, what struck me was your serenity and air of contentment.
Ery: How can I ever complain, feel unhappy or have regrets about anything, Sarah? Of course, this is not to say that my life hasn’t had its share of challenges — nothing can be farther from the truth. If I were to share even half of those challenges here, you would probably find it difficult to believe some of them.
Sarah: Well, my mouth is already gaping so far. Go right ahead and share. The purpose of what I do is to bring hope, inspiration and restoration. I feel that what we are about to hear can go a long way to making this possible. So, again, please go right ahead.
Ery: Thank you, Sarah. Besides getting pregnant with a badly damaged ovary, another miracle worth mentioning was surviving what those who saw it called ‘The most horrific car crash in all of history.’ Just before I got married, I had travelled to Switzerland to study hospitality management. While there, I (along with three other students) was involved in a horrible car accident when a milk truck struck the car we were in and immediately tore the car into two halves. Another oncoming truck could not swerve on time to avoid the crash, so it too rammed into our car and tore it into two more parts.
Sarah: Oh, my goodness…you are kidding!
Ery: No, I am not Sarah. When the crashing and clanging noises had settled, our car was in three separate parts. Yet, not a single one of my three friends and me lost our life. All who saw the accident could not believe that a single survivor was left standing, much less four.
Sarah: How did you feel? What was the first thing you did when you came out of what must have obviously been a jumble of twisted rubbers and metals?
Ery: I had looked up to the heavens and whispered thank you, Jesus, thank you, God, thank you, Jesus, over and over again. Yes, that my friends and I escaped such horrible accident unscathed could only have been by the powerful grace of the powerful God above. And so, with a genuinely humble heart, I am grateful to say that as many as have been the challenges life has thrown at me, so too have been the miracles that God has seen fit to lavish on me. Based on these experiences and all other countless miracles I have enjoyed in my life, perhaps you can imagine why I try not to regret anything, whatever it is. Instead, I am a thankful person. That is who I am, Sarah. I am conscious that I owe who I am today to God’s incredible grace. For that reason, I made a decision long ago to live a life of no regrets. What is there to regret? God has been so good to me. And so my life is thankful. I have decided that my life will forever be thankful. That is who I am.
Sarah: Well, I was not far from the truth previously when I said yours would be a story that would inspire and give hope. Thank you so much for sharing, Ery; I wish I had all day to sit here and listen to you. Unfortunately, the wagon of life awaits and we must all hop back on and keep on moving. Before we do, though, what life lessons would you offer to people out there who will be reading your shares in the upcoming days?
Ery: What life lesson would I like to offer? That’s easy — be humble, truthful, and willing to admit when vulnerable and hurting. Above all, be thankful. If you admit to knowing yourself and still find it challenging to be thankful, you must go back to learning yourself because if you haven’t discovered how to be thankful, you haven’t discovered yourself yet.
Sarah: Brilliant! Thank you once again, Ery, for sharing your beautiful heart with my readers and me.
For more on Ery Natali, please visit https://www.instagram.com/erytouwani/
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