In your journey to self-discovery: make love your first priority — not money, not society, not what others think.
Sarah Udoh-Grossfurthner interviews Bibi Jamieson: therapist, mother, wife, child of God and “believer in the restorative power of love.” www.restoretolove.co.uk
Sarah: Thank you for agreeing to share your thoughts with us, Bibi. First thing first, tell us in your own words, who are you?
Bibi: If you had asked me this question a few years ago, I might have said — I’m a therapist, I’m a carer, I’m a Nigerian, I’m so and so’s daughter, etcetera, etcetera. Today, my answer is simple. Even though I am still all of the above, I am first and foremost a child of God, a devoted wife and mother, and a believer in the restorative power of love.
Sarah: “Restorative power of love,” wow! Powerful Phrase.How did you come to such, shall we say, enlightenment? Tell us more, please.
Bibi: Not easy, believe me. It took me years to extricate myself from all the labels that my world had put on me. I never really felt comfortable in the box.
Sarah: The Box?
Yes, you know…societal norms and expectations: be this, don’t do that…speak this way, not that way…all of that?
Sarah: Oh, right. Go on, please.
Bibi: Yes, I am not one for towing the line of the box. In fact, when filling out simple administrative forms, I resented the box-ticking. All these elements - my age, gender, occupation, education, race, height, weight, location - they all contribute to aspects of me. But that’s just data. When all these things are stripped away? What remains? For me, what remains is Love. In my training as a therapist, I went on a journey of self-acceptance — and that requires love. I had to love myself enough to go to dark places and let Love/God shed light on areas that needed healing, acceptance, forgiving, celebrating. I realize now that every internal and external struggle I’ve had stems from not being true to myself. I had to accept all parts of me. I had to love the whole of me and not reject parts of me that society had rejected. By fully coming into contact with myself, my shadow, my dark side, I found peace and lessons to be learned. I made more room for light to flow within me towards others.
Sarah: You speak a lot about love. What does love, or loving, mean to you, and how do you relate to love and loving as a person and as a career woman?
Bibi: Love and loving — whether in my private life or career — signifies one to me, integrity and respect — whether in the way you treat others, or in the way you treat yourself. You see, with True Love comes self-acceptance and personal integrity. My marriage benefits from this ethos. Love is our first priority, not money, not society, not what others think. Love is also my first priority in my business practices — I treat others with love, integrity, and respect. It might mean I lose out on material wealth, but who can put a price on that beautiful feeling of going to bed every night with a peaceful heart?
Sarah: True love. How does this tie in with self-discovery — or self-knowing as I like to put it?
Bibi: As a psychotherapist, I offer my clients my empathy, authenticity, and unconditional positive regard. I can only do this now because I offer the same to myself — that is — Love. How can you truly love what you don’t know and accept? I encourage everyone to do this lifelong work to discover all aspects of self, no matter how difficult — only then can true healing, acceptance and fulfilment begin. To help people restore back to their original starting point of love, I need to love myself first.
Finally, I believe I was created from Love and to Love. It really is that simple. I no longer pay attention to the fact that people think I am an idealist for having this simple ethos. I simply know that living and flowing from a place of Love is linked to my happiness and wellbeing. I know that I will fight anything or anyone that threatens to take me away from a place of Love. Love is who I am. Love is what I do.
Sarah: This has been quite inspiring, Bibi. Short, but power-packed. Thank you, once again, for sharing your positive thoughts with us.
Bibi: My pleasure, Sarah; thank you for hosting me.
For more on Bibi Jamieson and her work and life, visit her website: www.restoretolove.co.uk
