No amount of abuse can ever eradicate YOU without your permission. It might make you THINK you are insignificant for a while, yes, but it can NEVER eradicate you!
Self-discovery demands the admission of frailties and the uncovering of so much UNWANTED. But it takes courage to face those UNWANTEDS. Ask any person if they would like to be great. They will reply with a resounding ‘YES!’ Turn around and ask if they are prepared to humble themselves and lay bare their vulnerabilities and, most likely, as high as ninety per cent of those asked would unobtrusively turn away: their silence louder than any reply they could have offered. This reminds me of something we like to say back home in my motherland Nigeria — everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die. The same goes with admitting our vulnerabilities. But it’s in the facing of them that you find your way to greatness. As a matter of fact, I am yet to hear of any TRULY-GREAT person who did not begin life with challenges and obstacles that seemed impossible to surmount at the time. At the same time, I am also yet to meet one of those greats who went on to become forces to be reckoned with without first of all coming face-to-face with and owning their vulnerabilities. When we confess to not being superhumans after all, when we admit our weaknesses, we open the floodgates to un-mined treasures in us that are often buried under piles of hurt and pain and painted over with egos and fake bravados to appear strong and untouchable. I have learned in my healing journey that most so-called flaws are frequently clouded in strength we cannot even begin to understand. Let’s take shyness, for example. To a shy person, a lack of talkativeness might be viewed as a sign of weakness, especially in a social setting. But have you ever observed an introverted person at a gathering? They are almost always great listeners!
And so, there is nothing wrong with you if you are quiet and shy; or loud and talkative, as long as the few (or many) words you do utter are words of life and light that uplift, encourage and empower those who hear them.
Ultimately, the goal of self-knowing is to self-improve. The process of self-knowing is similar to seeking out medical help. You cannot seek out a doctor without admitting that you are ill in the first place. In the same vein, unless you know YOU, you cannot improve yourself. And YOU are not just your ‘positive’ aspects; YOU are also your so-called ‘flaws.’
YOU are not what happened to you. A diamond encased in the dirt is still a diamond, regardless!
Years after that advice from my grandmother, I picked up the courage one day and decided to share my story. I did so by telling a portion of it. It was tentative, a very tentative step, and I did it under an alias. The impact was eye-opening. For the first time, my mind and my emotions felt free. Instead of bringing me further hurt as I had feared, owning my story liberated me. It was as if years of accumulated weight on my shoulders was suddenly lifted off of me. ‘Rhea Story’ in, BUT HE CALLS ME BLESSED! When the Unbelievable Happens to Believers was the portion of my story that I chose to share. It is available on Amazon — in print and ebook.
