Self-discovery is a journey, not an outing; a marathon, not a sprint. Knowing why you want something usually says a lot about who you are as a person (self-knowing 1010).
Knowing why you want something will either strengthen and build up your character and values, or it will lead to your uncovering a character you didn’t know you possessed. Either way, wanting something and knowing why you want that thing will birth something in you.
In the beginning, I wanted an education so I could prove myself to my uncle’s wife. That precise understanding of my ‘why’ gave me the ability to dream beyond what my eyes could see, beyond all the limitations surrounding and engulfing me. And so, as the years passed, I’d obtained myriad certificates, diplomas and degrees, and in all manner of disciplines. From secretarial to computer programing, business administration to management studies; languages (French and Italian to mention just two), creative writing, copywriting and editing, diplomacy and strategic studies; from semester courses in international relations and international law to a complete master program in professional writing — I did them all. Most of the time, the classes I took had no bearing on one another. Just as it hadn’t mattered when I discovered a love for books — what book was what and on which topic, it mattered not; as long as it was printed and I could read it — it didn’t matter now what courses I took as long as they led to expanding my knowledge. Soon, learning became a lifestyle. When an opportunity to travel outside Nigeria began to present itself, I planned every trip around one course or another: a French language course at the University of Sorbonne in France when I went to Paris. Computer course in England when I visited London. Italian language conversation course at Dante Alighieri. I took them all. By the time I hit forty, I had a drawer full of degrees and certificates I would probably never need or use, and friends who knew me jokingly called me, ‘professional’ student. I laughed at their jokes. None of them knew why studying meant so much to me or why I felt compelled to study. Although I appreciated that no knowledge is wasteful, many of the courses I took over the years, and the certificates and diplomas I obtained, were mismatched and completely in opposing directions.
When the Internet became a possibility for all, I trolled through it and took random, non-certified courses on healthy lifestyles and exercising — this last was bolstered by my husband’s love of the outdoors. Soon I was clambering over mountains and hills and rambling through forests, woods and valleys, walking and biking for hours at a time — often on my own. Perhaps it helped that I started my life on a farm and had learned to love and appreciate the wonders of nature because quiet, long, uninterrupted walks through the forest were part of what contributed to my overall healing. To this day, long walks and hiking are some of the greatest joys of my life. It is sometimes crazy how the drive to achieve the seemingly impossible can lead to discovering and loving things you never before even considered possible.
Still, life is sometimes full of weird and incomprehensible humour. In all my love for learning, the one subject I didn’t manage to grasp much was the German language. It was a real puzzle since it was the one skill I needed, seeing as my husband was of the Germanic race. When I think deeply about this, I have to surmise that it is more psychological than anything else. Ever since my uncle’s home, each time a third party tells me I ‘must’ do something, my brain automatically goes on auto-lock. Despite all the healing, I still can’t deal with being told I ‘have to do something despite all the incredible growth. I still can’t deal with being told that I ‘must’ do something.
You’ll be motivated to build it no matter the cost if you know why you want something.
Anyway, getting the education I wanted was easier said than done. Just as the cost must have been high for the men augmenting their height, so too it was for me trying to get the education I wanted. After my uncle’s wife had unceremoniously deposited me on my grandmother’s doorstep, I’d soon learned that there were other obstacles (beyond the readily obvious ones like limited resources) standing in the way of achieving what I wanted. But I set my heart unflinchingly on what I wanted and persevered through everything that came in the form of my getting it. I denied myself many things that children and young girls my age took for granted.
Eventually, I’d achieved my goals. They came at a cost, of course. But I did it. I got the education I wanted.
Today, not only do I hold a degree in diplomatic and strategic studies, a masters in writing (a field of study I enjoy immensely), as well as other sundry diplomas and certificates, I have also been blessed with children who are extremely smart, intelligent and accomplished. Children who have earned degrees from some of the top ivy league universities in the world, including Cambridge, Imperial College and LSE (London School of Economics), to mention a few. My lovely daughter got her BA from Cambridge at the age of twenty-two and master from LSE at twenty-three, and my son his PhD in Biotechnology from Cambridge at twenty-six. I have a Masters in Professional Writing from Falmouth University College, Cornwall. God has been faithful to my parents’ and grandmother’s legacy of ‘unshakeable’ faith and trust. His love humbles me, and I am grateful for His mercies.
