WHO ARE YOU?
The way we view ourselves, for good or for bad, it all began somewhere.
My parents and my maternal grandmother, the three most important role models of my life, were very spiritual people. As Christians, theirs was not a Sunday-to-Sunday affaire, but a deep, spiritual faith that reflected in everything they did. As such, they raised my siblings and me to believe in our value and self-worth, not because of any material comfort — there were times when we barely had any — but because of their unshakeable belief that every human being God creates is important, valuable and full of worth. By the way, about that, I once asked my grandmother “But Nne, what about very bad, bad people, are they valuable as well?’ My grandmother had responded ‘Just because a man chooses to use his beautifully-crafted bowl for unholy things rather than the soup it is supposed to hold, does it mean the creator of that bowl did not make it as a thing of value? My grandmother was like that, she frequently responded to your questions with funny, sometimes strange, idiomatic expressions and questions of her own.
Anyway, she and my mother especially ‘knew and ‘trusted’ unreservedly in their God and His ability ‘to provide whatever’ they asked of Him. Before leaving for Lagos they had both ‘prophesied’ over me saying ‘It is well with you. You will do well. God is going with you.’ I guess that was their way of re-instating that God does not make stupid.
It is impossible to grow up surrounded by that kind of ‘unshakable’ belief without being impacted by it. And so years later in Lagos, even when all I had on my feet were a pair of torn rubber slippers held together with some random strings, even when I was punched, pinched and slapped and kicked, even when I was spat on, told I would never amount to anything of worth and called all kinds of names (some of which I still find extremely hard to repeat to this day) on a subconscious level I still believed that I was ‘all that;’ and that I was more than the circumstances surrounding me at any given time. It was anyway what Papa used to say. ‘What you are today is not what you will be tomorrow, do whatever needs to be done today but keep your focus on tomorrow.’ Going by the ‘You walk around thinking you are something when you are obviously nothing’ Aunty used to say to me all the time, I had apparently taken that belief along with me to Lagos and had, most likely, worn it around me like an invisible cloth.
It seems without my being aware my mother and grandmother had handed me their belief system as a legacy the day Aunty came to pick me up. While I knelt before them, fidgeting impatiently because I could not wait to be on my way to Lagos, both had formed a circle around me and pronounced blessings and protection and made decrees and declarations - which were driven home again by my grandmother when the prayers were over and my mother walked over to her brother’s wife. While the two chatted, Nne had squatted in front of me, pulled me closer so her eyes were on the same level as mine.
‘Never forget whose child you are,’ she’d said as she lifted my chin up with one finger to bring my face even closer. ‘The God your father, mother and I serve will look after you and protect you. I know you are probably too young to understand, but His Word says that He will never allow shame to come to those who trust in Him. Your mother and I trust in Him, fully in Him. So, shame will not come to you in that Lagos you are going to. But if you ever feel fearful and uncertain, if at any time things start not to make sense, just call on the God of your mother and mine. Say ‘the God of my mother and grandmother, please help me. He will hear you, and He will help you. Do you understand?’ I had looked over my shoulder to where Uncle’s wife was chatting with my mother and nodded ‘yes, yes,’ impatient for her to let go of my chin so I could be on my way. To Lagos.
The Bottom Line: a real sense of achievement comes from knowing you. You cannot truly fulfil your life’s purpose, or find joy in the things you achieve, without knowing who YOU are.
