WHO YOU ARE IS INVARIABLY WHAT YOUR CHILD IS — OR WILL LIKELY BECOME
More often (than not) children are the reflections of their parents’ true values and beliefs system!
Children are often mirrored-images of their parents, especially their mothers. Like parrots, they are apt to mimic her every move and idiosyncrasies. And so it wasn’t long before my little cousins began to bully me as well.
At first, it was a sneaky pinch here and there. When they did not receive any reaction or reprimand from their mother, they got bolder and spat in my food and kicked over my plates while eating. Of course, I couldn’t go to Uncle because my uncle’s wife had forbidden me from communicating directly with him soon after my arrival. So I reported them to her. Aunty’s response was, ‘what did you do? My children are not animals; they wouldn’t just pinch you without a valid reason.’
As for upending my meals, my cousins pretended that it was a mistake, that they had ‘accidentally’ kicked my plates as they walked by to get a drink from the fridge. Even though it happened too often to have been considered anything other than a deliberate act, Aunty never punished them for it; which emboldened them to invent more ways to torment and bully me.
When it became obvious that no one would protect me, I learned to grow a thick skin and stopped reporting them altogether. Growing a ‘thick’ skin meant retreating into myself and not letting anyone know what was on my mind at any given time. This led to Aunty berating me for being taciturn and ‘stubborn.’ But it was the only way I knew how to protect myself. This was the period that marked the beginning of the end of my childhood.
And I wasn’t even 10-years-old yet at the time.
I once told a friend that I was an adult before I was fully done with being a child. It was meant as an in-the-spirit-of-the-moment joke. But it actually wasn’t untrue.
